it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
