He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize