But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Randomize
