I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just invented taco cereal.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
