im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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