Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize