I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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