When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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