I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
