Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
