Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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