if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
