i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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