I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
