why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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