I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
