too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
