just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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