rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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