Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
