Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
