If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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