I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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