so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
