There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
