eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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