I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
