I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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