I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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