She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My liver just had a heart attack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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