your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sext me about skeletons
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
