your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
