just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
