What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
