Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My dick has a subreddit
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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