New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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