You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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