i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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