We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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