well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
