Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
