I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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