I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize