Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize