i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize