Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
