those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
