Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
