I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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