ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
try to milk me bitch
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