Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
