I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
