the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
