He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
