My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
