3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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