My brain says no but my pants say off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
