Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
