one might say we're banned from that church
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
