But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
